The First Worcestershire Literary Festival

PUBLISHED: 17:43 12 July 2011 | UPDATED: 19:41 20 February 2013

The First Worcestershire Literary Festival

The First Worcestershire Literary Festival

Worcestershire Literary Festival had more than a little sauce, thanks to the appointment of Theo Theobald as county Poet Laureate

Worcestershire Literary Festival had more than a little sauce, thanks to the appointment of Theo Theobald as county Poet Laureate, a wide range of spoken word events and activities, book signings, talks and the Worcestershire Poetry Slam Championship Competition, won by Fergus McGonigal. More than 100 events were held across the countyin 38 different venues over the 10 days of the festival. Participants included Birmingham Poet Laureate Roy McFarlane, Sebastian Peake (son of Mervyn Peake talking about his fathers work), Nicci French, Anita Sharma-James, Lucy Worsley of BBC 4, Victoria Connelly, John Cooper Clarke, Attila the Stockbroker and many more.


Festival founder and Director Lisa Ventura said: We embraced and encompassed as many different kinds of writing as possible and as many different genres as possible during the first ever festival and gave local and regional writers and readers a voice and a platform from which to perform their work. The WLF is as much about discovering new talent as it is about giving named writers a platform and for our first festival we had an excellent mix of local, regional and known names.


The 2012 Literary Festival will run from June 15 to 24. If you would like to volunteer, participate or put on an event, contact the organisers at info@worcslitfest.com or telephone 01905 24435.



Worcetershire's First Poet Laureate


Theo Theobald, from Bromsgrove, shook off nine other finalists at the festival launch event at Worcester Cathedral to take the title of Worcestershires first Poet Laureate.


His two poems, Worcestershire Sauce, (in which he recommends its qualities as an aphrodisiac, cure-all and stain remover) and Im In Love With The Girl From H&M, wooed the audience and the judging panel. Fergus McGonigal from Redditch came second and Heather Wastie from Kidderminster was third.



WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE!


By Theo Theobald


I feel duty bound to inform you, of a great Worcestershire tour-de-force
Which comes in the shape of a bottle, of Messrs Lea and Perrins fine sauce


A culinary staple, tops chefs all agree, it transforms Heinz spaghetti hoops
It adds zip to the dullest of stew and puts zing in the thinnest of soups


It beefs up a bourguignon, stokes up a stew, magnifique in a French coq au vin
But thats not the half of it let me tell you, why I have become such a fan


The magical properties of L & P reach infinity and far beyond
The spell it can cast with one single dash is more powerful than Dumbledores wand!


Add a splash to your bath and then you will find your complexion will most likely become soft and silky, quite milky and not so unlike the skin on a new-born babes bum


A dab or a dot judiciously applied is a must if you want shiny shoes
Ive even heard said at a push itll take the stones from poor lame horses hooves


Like Lily the Pinks medication, its efficacious in every case
It exfoliates blotchy and scabby old skin and removes unsightly spots from your face


Its better than Botox for making you young, if youre short itll make you look tall
Got the vapours or ague? The brown stuff will cure you, even rid you of your warts and all


When youre sick as a pig with that awful swine flu, a drop of the browns what you need
Keep a stock in your shed, because its been said, itll even shift stubborn weeds


Take the ring off the bath and then just for a laugh pour a slug of it into your drains
Kill one hundred percent of all known germs and then use it to purge stubborn stains


Slip a nip to your wife to perk up her love life, but take care as you head off for bed
It will also enhance your zones of romance, just a drop fills your pencil with lead


Lea and Perrins the one if you want to win, against odds that seem to be dire
The reason is plain for its origins are in this great county of Worcestershire

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